Why Being “Too A lot” Is the Secret to Higher Relationships & Much less Stress

Increase your hand in the event you’ve ever been informed you’re “an excessive amount of.” Too loud. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too bold. Too… you.

For lots of girls, that’s the cue to begin shrinking. We tone down our voice, dim our fiery nature, and sand down the sharp, lovely edges that make us who we’re—all within the determined hope of being accepted. We study to censor our jokes, cover our massive desires, and put a lid on our emotions as a result of we’re afraid our real selves will probably be rejected.

However right here’s the tough-love, liberating fact: the fixed effort to make your self smaller is exhausting … AND it’s additionally the #1 motive you are feeling so drained and caught in less-than-stellar relationships.

Leaning into your genuine self and proudly proudly owning your “too much-ness” is definitely your secret weapon. It’s the one option to construct the high-quality connections you deserve—and eventually dial down your stress for good.

The Downside With Shrinking Your self

Consistently modifying your self to be extra palatable is a one-way ticket to burnout. On prime of holding again the actual you, you’re expending a large quantity of psychological and emotional vitality to take action.

Each time you chunk your tongue, faux a joke was funnier than it was, or swallow your true emotions, you’re making a withdrawal out of your valuable vitality reserves.

This creates a quiet, insidious type of stress that lives simply beneath the floor, leaving you anxious and unfulfilled—even whenever you’re surrounded by folks.

The reality? You’re basically in a relationship with a model of you that doesn’t even exist, and the folks round you might be responding to that pretend model. That, my good friend, is a recipe for deep loneliness.

Your “Too A lot-ness” Is a Relationship Filter

If you cease apologizing in your enthusiasm, ardour, or massive, generally messy emotions, one thing unbelievable occurs: you begin attracting your soulmate relationships.

Friendships

This implies discovering soul-sisters who don’t simply tolerate your wild concepts—they’re those who say, “YES! And what if we did this subsequent?!” They cheer in your ambition as an alternative of seeing it as a menace. These friendships go deeper than surface-level chatter since you’re absolutely seen and understood with out judgment.

Partnerships

In love, this implies discovering a accomplice who celebrates your quirks and loves you for the particular person you might be—not the particular person you faux to be. The correct accomplice will encourage your boldest desires and by no means ask you to shrink for his or her consolation. (Bonus: they’ll match your bizarre.)

Communities

In your bigger group, it means surrounding your self with individuals who get it. Whether or not it’s your exercise group, ebook membership, or an internet house, you’ll discover circles the place your concepts are met with curiosity and pleasure, not well mannered nods and fast topic modifications.

If you present up as your full, unapologetic self, you’re sending a transparent sign: That is who I’m. Take it or go away it. And the individuals who take it? They’re your folks. Those who go away? They have been by no means meant for you anyway—and also you simply saved your self a ton of wasted time and vitality.

Why Proudly owning Your Genuine Self Reduces Stress

Embracing your “too much-ness” can also be one of the highly effective types of self-care. It’s a direct path to much less stress and extra peace.

If you’re not policing each phrase you say or emotion you are feeling, you liberate huge quantities of psychological bandwidth.

• As a substitute of agonizing over whether or not it’s best to ship your good friend that nerdy article you liked—you simply ship it, and so they get excited too.

• As a substitute of hiding your massive enterprise thought—you share it, and out of the blue the suitable connection seems.

• As a substitute of swallowing your frustration in a relationship—you talk your wants, and your accomplice rises to satisfy you.

That is what dwelling authentically seems like. It’s radical self-trust—and it not solely strengthens your relationships, it strengthens your relationship with your self.

Cease Shrinking, Begin Thriving

Being “an excessive amount of” will not be a flaw—it’s proof that you’ve a robust gentle to share with the world. Hiding it solely creates extra stress and loneliness.

Your distinctive mix of enthusiasm, empathy, and ambition is the very factor that may entice your folks.

So cease shrinking. Begin shining. And watch each your relationships and your peace of thoughts flourish.

What’s one a part of your self you’ve been holding again that you just’re able to lastly share with the world? – Alex

Need a Protected House to Be Totally You?

For those who’re prepared to satisfy your soul household TODAY and begin training full expression in a secure teaching house, my Unfuckwittable Membership is the right place. There’s even a whole module on this very subject—so you may apply it in actual life and really feel grounded when you do it. Learn more and join our powerful community here.